Woah.

I strongly prefer Light-Skinned people to Dark-Skinned people.

I retook that test out of pure shame.

I slightly prefer Light-Skinned people to Dark-Skinned people.

I have little to no preference between Fat people and Thin people.

That one only took one try.

I feel racist, and it feels awful - that was horrifying. There is prejudice instilled in my brain. It makes me nauseous to even think about.

That is absolutely unbelievable, that this nation can never outrun it's history. White people will always be inherently racist - it's in our MINDS. But I wonder, when a black person takes that test, are they racist? Does he/she show a strong or slight preference for dark-skinned people? I'd bet money on it. So what is wrong with us? This no mix, no blend, stick to our own groups attitude - is it based on "race"? Ethnicity? Nationality? What is it Sal??? I have to know!

People separate into groups with not only like-minded people, but people who are similar in color, size, shape, etc. WHY? Comfort zones?

War, Huh, Good God Ya'll

I have decided to modify my views on the former student who came into our class. My primary reaction to his account on experiences overseas was admittedly extremely defensive. His frank attitude about such a controversial area of issues stunned me. But after discussing my feelings in class, I realize that I gave no credit to his experiences and, it must be said, his bravery. Though he explained that he went into the service without much direction, I must commend the poise he now has and the pride he clearly has developed in what he does. Now, I will say I have not completely changed my concerns about his attitude, but simply have forced myself to appreciate his situation. Certain dealings he spoke of still disturb me greatly, and many of his descriptions chilled me, but I realize now that being personally offended by his actions is completely useless. I have zero understanding of his operations in Iraq (was it Iraq?) and only reacted to his statements based on my own morals. Morals, it seems, must be adjusted for such things. That is why now, the only thing that truly disturbs me, is the minimal help the troops get upon returning to America. I imagine that the army forces troops to endure such vigorous training in order to rid the trainees of any need to think independently of the tasks assigned to them. I do not mean that in a negative way, just that they are trained to do things a certain way, and if it is not done in this way, there is a negative consequence. This simplifies everyday actions to the point where everything is routine. If this attitude can be formed and taken overseas, then you've got a bunch of troops waiting for orders, willing to take them and perform them to their maximum capability in order to not receive said negative consequences. Perhaps I am taking this a little too far, but that what I imagine to be true. In any case, original morals are placed on the back burner and are overcome by personal desire to perform well.
Please comment on this.

Stick your nose up any higher, if it rains, you'll drown.

I try desperately to be as cultured, open-minded, and educated as I can, especially concerning other people/groups. I crave information about others. It's amazing how children are able to overlook cultural boundaries that adults of certain social classes so strictly adhere to. I have struggled to retain this ability to avoid passing judgment on others before such an assessment may be accurate. It's impossible. In the environment I now live in - rich, white, private - there is very little actual contact with diversity, and therefore, little information about other groups. This is extremely frustrating for me because I now that unconsciously I am making generalizations about others based on the pretentious assumptions of those around me.
I have not always lived in such an area. My father has been working up in the ranks of his company since the age of 16, and so we have moved in order to accommodate his promotions. Each time we moved to a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood in a nicer town. My friends from Canada are extremely down to earth. My best friends who have lived there their entire lives are very chill, and satisfied with what they have. I by no means lived in hardship, but in a close knit neighborhood of small houses. In England, we moved up a step in the ladder. I had to wear a uniform to school and there was a slightly more bratty feel to the children in general. I had friends who owned 60 acre ranches with 20 horses and a mansion-like house. But they were not the majority. Most lived in relatively large houses like mine - lots of space, but not much bragging was done. Here it is different. Money means something different. It means an opportunity to live in the suburbs and belong to a country club and chat about weekend plans of playing bridge. I have seen a distinctive change in my mom throughout the years as we have moved from place to place. In all of my family in fact. It takes so much more to satisfy us - that is what I'm trying to fight off. Of course, I was much younger in England and haven't visited my old school mates in a while so I don't recall completely their attitudes.
I remember being shocked Freshman year of high school, in World History class. I had already lived in the US for three years by then, but with little recognition of my new-found bubbled paradise. I have never encountered such ignorance as in that required 9th grade class. On our first quiz, the girl next to me asked where Europe was. What do you do in that situation? Laugh? Cry? I decided to turn a cold shoulder and rely on the rest of the class for intelligent input. Mostly, I was disappointed. Now, what I am stating is a different type of pretentious attitude that I have always had and probably always will. I hate stupid people. I have no tolerance. That girl that didn't know where Europe was displayed a pretentiousness that in my mind is far worse than my own main one - she didn't feel she needed to become aware of the rest of the world. That, to me, is crazy. As I said, I can never get enough information. I love to travel, to go to museums, to learn all I can. This is the first place I've lived where so many people don't even have passports. It is sad. There is so much to discover in this world, and there are people satisfied with staying in their own little bubbles. Especially around here, where the bubble entails card playing and wine sipping.

White Bread, With New and Improved Poverty Flavor

We are labeled by everything. Every choice we make forces others to judge us on some level. How we dress, the food we eat, what job we aspire to obtain - even dreams must correspond to social class or I can only imagine that the disappointment would be unbearable.

What Could Be Better Than A Tied Game Won By A Half Court Shot? And Of Course I'm Talking About Water Polo.

That game was incredible. Admittedly, we reeked in the first half - it was actually slightly disgraceful. However, after a mildly insulting, extremely verbally aggressive pep talk for the gods from our head coach, we let out the beasts within and rocked out. In the last seconds of the second period of overtime one of our players took a half court shot and we won the game 10 - 9. Hell yes.
However, as amazing as that was, I must say that I feel our sport is under-appreciated. Or at least under-exposed. There is so much hype over american football and baseball in this country that most other sports get lost in the background. I find it different depending on the place I'm in. Canada - hockey/curling, England - football (soccer)/rugby/cricket, Spain - futbol (soccer) etc. What does that say about the culture of each country? Americans love contact sports and testimonies to brute strength (perhaps related to this violent culture we keep talking about?). Canadians also enjoy aggression, but see value in the subtle skills of curling. The English value the physical fitness and patience involved in their sports, as well as toughness.
Any thoughts?

Oh Man - I Saw The Naked Cowboy

Bright Lights Big City New York New York.This weekend I was in New York and Rhode Island visiting schools. I found the differences astounding. I stayed in the Lower East Side in an apartment with a friend of the family. She gave me the history of the neighborhood. In the 50s it was mostly Jewish, then many of the Jewish people moved to Brooklyn, and the area became dominated by Puerto Ricans and Dominicans and others. In that period, the neighborhood became rougher. Now, more Europeans and college students have moved in, and it has become safer once again. I found New York unique in the fact that in just a few blocks, you are in a completely different part of the city. For example, when I went to visit Pratt Institute, I passed the Housing Projects where Jay-Z grew up. A couple blocks later we were surrounded by brownstone apartments and the school was around the corner. The city is massive, but extremely well separated by the mentioned neighborhoods. Providence on the other hand, is a very small city. Trollies run constantly around in circuits and the only thing more pleasant than the weather was the lovely architecture of the buildings. I did see someone getting arrested in Providence, but even that seemed almost pleasant - the cop and arrestee clearly knew each other from a previous encounter and the other cop (waiting in the police car) was making conversation with some people in the street.

We're the Kids of America - Bowling for Columbine (Fear)

There is so much to talk about with this movie, I need to focus on just one topic.

One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Michael Moore visits the Canadians to demonstrate the trust they have in their community. These people do not lock their doors when they go out, let alone feel the need to own personal handguns. This is in stark contrast to the one town visited where the screen doors are made of iron and could be penetrated by nothing short of a spear. Or the town where it is a law to own a gun. How ridiculous is that?

Another of my favorite parts is when Moore talks to Marilyn Manson. The singer was thought to have some blame by causing the thoughts of the Columbine shooters through his music. This, of course, was the fault of extreme conservatives and is absolutely unbelievable. But it is due to these people's fear of people who are different and strange and the need for a scapegoat.

One Canadian person they interview introduces an interesting idea about how locks confine you into your house in Canada, while in America, they keep everyone else out. He actually says, "well, you must be afraid of your neighbors". I found the latter statement to be dead on. There is so much fear of others in this country or of other people's potential for dangerous activity. Everyone's a suspect. Everyone's to be feared. I find there is a lack of trust between strangers in this country, people just assume the worst. Of course, that is by no means completely unreasonable.