Admittedly, some silences are awkward, but they are awkward anywhere in the world. The silence after a bad joke when the teller desperately wants you to laugh. Or that horrible atmosphere created by an inappropriate statement in the presence of an unhappy elder. I've found those silences to be uncomfortable in every place I've lived. But I find some silences to be greatly appreciated, almost comforting. They are silences that enhance atmospheres rather than destroy them. Silence between people that truly appreciate each others company can be enjoyable.
When I first moved to this country I was shocked not only by the constant chatter of seemingly everyone around me, but also by the volume. I've never encountered so many loud, opinionated people, which is not necessarily a negative, though when I go to a restaurant I can undoubtedly hear the conversations of many surrounding tables.
I have learned to, or been forced to, listen intently to the authority figure speaking at all times. We are trained from a young age to listen to our elders, and it is one lesson that has stuck. This respect given to a certain appointed person has lead me, however, to be a secondary force in conversations. I find myself listening more than talking initially with most people I meet here, but once I spend more time in their company, I am more apt to share my thoughts. The amount of silence you can tolerate with a person is a measure of how comfortable you are in their presence. When first talking to a person, one is certainly interested in aspects of the others character, but is also nervous about first impressions. No one want to seem boring or lacking in personality, so they fill the air with incredible amounts of nonsense (depending on the chemistry between them).
Anyways, I'm rambling and sort of going in circles. Any thoughts?
2 comments:
The idea of a silence that enhances an atmosphere I really like and agree with. As far as loud people though, America seems to have the most of any country I've seen. I returned from a trip to Europe and noticed the same things you have. I'm curious what you mean at the end though, about first impressions? I was wondering what you meant about the degree of chemistry and what sort of difference that makes. I'll have to talk to you about it sometime.
I thought you were exactly right at the end when u said "The amount of silence you can tolerate with a person is a measure of how comfortable you are in their presence." That was like what i sorta tried to say in my blog, but couldn't find the right words. But I think that is true because you can handle silence with someone you are close to, but with people you just met it is difficult and often uncomfortable for there to be a silence. so i agree
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